Cheesy, I know.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  

A: Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change! 

* * * 

Q: How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How many do you think it takes?

* * *

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychologist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

* * *

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son."
"Ok, he's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery."
"How can you say all that without even meeting him?"
"I thought you said he's 13?"

* * *

A psychologist's secretary walks into his office and says, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychologist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."