Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Home sweet home?

At approximately 1 o'clock this morning, I stuck my key in the door to my apartment here in Smalltown, Illinois. Home, after spending a week in Baltimore visiting my best friend. I was greeted by my two mischievous felines (the canine was still at the sitters..) .....and not much of anything else. A floor that needs to be vacuumed. Two litter boxes that need to be cleaned. A whole lot of junk that needs to be organized. A computer that is awaiting parts before it can once again be a productive part of my household.

...and what awaits me in this town beyond the apartment? A job I hate. A family that hasn't exactly been supportive in my life. And.....well nothing.

I've spent several days of the last month LIVING LIFE. Here, I'm simply in hibernation....just doing what I need to get by. I've gotten too much of a taste of real life now to continue to hibernate. I want out. Now.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure that's in the cards just yet. But at least it gives me the motivation to start working towards finding that winning hand.

This fall, I plan to start college. I'll be 25 by then....and I'm finally starting college. At the moment, I intend to go through a 2 year program, but I may change my mind and go for 4 years. We'll see. As I'm finding out....things change...so you just never know. After I graduate, and hopefully find a job, I will work for a year and save all my money...unless I find a way to make it happen sooner, of course....after that, I'm out of here. I'm going to live life. Not just a week here and a week there, when I can escape hibernation for a tiny period of time.....but for good.

I just don't fit here anymore. When I leave, I feel like new life is being breathed into me....and when I come back, it gets sucked back out.

So that's my plan. And I fully intend to carry it out. I just wish I could make it happen sooner.

No comments: