Thursday, April 08, 2010

Rants of the day

I try not to be a negative person, really, I do.  I try to let things just roll off of my back and forget about them . . . but let's face it, sometimes everyone of us has days in which we want to tear off the face of the next person who looks at us. (What? That's not normal? I should seek counseling? Hmm . . . )

Today is one of those days for me.  So, I'm going to rant. 

Rant #1

Dear teeny-bopper in the white Lancer, 

While I can appreciate what it's like being a hurry, nearly ending my life this morning because you couldn't seem to take three more seconds to stop at your stop sign and wait for me to pass by, instead causing me to skid my tires on the pavement with my car veering to slightly to the side to avoid smashing into you . . . wasn't cool.  Not even a little. An occasional surge of adrenaline isn't necessarily a bad thing, but really, this wasn't the way I want to experience it.  Now, do me a favor and think back to the first thing you learned in Driver's Ed . . . no, let's go back further -- PRESCHOOL! What must you always do in before safely crossing the road?  That's right! Look both ways to make sure there isn't a car careening your direction at 60 MPH. Can you do that for me from now on?  Thanks.  'Preciate it.  

Yours truly, 

Thankful to be Alive.  


Rant #2

Open letter to library patrons: 

I'm assuming that if you're in a college library, you at least have a basic knowledge of how to read.  Therefore, I'm also assuming you know what the words "Silent Zone" that's written on signs on all of the desks and tables in this section means.  If, by some way, you do not, I will define it for you as per  

si·lent [sahy-luhnt]: –adjective
1. making no sound; quiet; still: a silent motor. 
2. refraining from speech. 
3. speechless; mute. 

zone [zohn]  –noun
any continuous tract or area that differs in some respect, or is distinguished for some purpose, from adjoining tracts or areas, or within which certain distinctive circumstances exist or are established.

If you are still unclear on this issue, it means to shut the &*$# up.  

It does not mean to form groups and loudly gossip about that guy whose name you can't remember who you think you might have slept with at the party last night.  It also does not mean to use your cell phone to set up all of your doctor's appointments for the next five years.  Believe it or not, it even means that you're not to listen to music or watch videos with audio through the speakers of your computer, rather than using headphones like a decent human being would.  You may not believe it, but it's true.  

Now, I know there seems to be a severe  lack of abundance of places all around the college for getting into groups, talking on your cell phone, or watching noisy videos, and that this one and only small area on the entire campus that is designated as a silent zone is the only place you can seem to find to do all of these activities, but some of us come here because we don't study well with distractions.  So, before taking that phone call, first take a look around you and notice all of the dirty looks and scowls you are receiving.  You're getting them because right now, everyone hates you and wants to cram that stupid cell phone with that annoying Jonas Brothers ringtone down your throat.  Please leave.  


Annoyed in Illinois.  

1 comment:

JBrown31 said...

Love your rants!!! Keep them coming... makes my day not seem so bad.