School

My first day of my second year of college starts in precisely 9 hours.  

I can't freaking wait.  

Strangely enough, the 'I'm giddy like a school-girl' saying is quite fitting at the moment! 

4 months from now I'll be able to converse with you a little in German (Elementary German I), discuss rocks and plate tectonics (perhaps in German? :P ) (Environmental Geology),  analyze your personality (Personality Psychology), tell you all about polynomials (Intermediate Algebra), all while absorbing some of the leadership skills I'll need to make it in my intended field (Leadership Development Studies).  

Man, I love school!  

Irony is . . .

. . . your speech teacher explaining the importance of being sure to pronounce words in your speeches correctly, all the while repeatedly saying 'pronounciation' himself!

It could be worse . . . he could be a silly Texan boy that pronounces the name of your state 'Ellinoise' just to annoy the crap out of you.

All joking aside, my speech teacher, though today is only the third day of class, is a really awesome guy, and I think he is going to be among the growing list of teachers I will remember for a long time to come. After all, he is probably the first person ever to be able to keep my attention for 3 hours straight for 3 days in a row so far!

I GOT IT!!!!!!

Just checked my mail in the first time in more than a week, and I'm kicking myself for waiting so long because a week ago I was mailed a letter that says....

...I GOT THE $2,000 21ST CENTURY SCHOLARS SCHOLARSHIP I APPLIED FOR!!!!!

Not only that, but this August I will be the honored guest at a dinner (at a fancy restaraunt!) held by the 21st Century Scholars Society!!!!!  HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!?  

Is my excitement transparent, or do I hide it well?  

Overload? I hope not!

Starting tomorrow (well, today if you want to get technical) I will be working THREE (3) jobs, as well as taking summer classes.  

Three jobs.  

And school.  

Oh, and driving two+ hours (each way) to see Nicole regularly.  

And at some point in there, I'd like to have a bit of a social life, as well.  I'm a glutton for punishment, aren't I?  I wonder sometimes if my strong desire to keep myself so incredibly busy stems from when I was a kid, and my parents wouldn't miss a chance to tell me I was fat and lazy and that I'd never amount to anything.  Perhaps, deep down, I'm still feeling the need to prove those sentiments wrong every chance I get.  

Whatever it is, I can't seem to enjoy my downtime unless it's at least almost as structured as my non-downtime.  I enjoy my trips because they are structured...my days are filled with fun things to do.  
I had a structured plan in place for this past week, as well, but unfortunately it all required gas money -- a luxury I don't have.  So, that fell through, and I spent the majority of my time right here with my butt planted firmly in front of this very computer.  I couldn't muster the motivation to get anything done that I needed to get done.  Curiously enough, I have little doubt I'd have gotten more done if I had been busier to begin with.  Doesn't make much sense, I know, but that's just how it is!

It also might seem odd to some that it is a relief to me to be starting back at school (albeit just one class, as opposed to five) and starting another job tomorrow.  I can't wait for the structure work and school provides.  I can't wait to fill my brain with more knowledge and to busy my idle hands.  

But that's ok if it seems odd to others.  I enjoy it.  It's just who I am.  

Also who I am: a girl who never goes to bed when she should!  1 A.M., the night before I start my new job and my new class, and am I sleeping?  No, I'm writing a blog entry about how I over-do things!

Night, folks!

Brain Drain

Day one of finals is over! WOOT! I already know I got an A (95%)on my English final, and I was already carrying a high A in the class.

I will know tomorrow or Wednesday what I got on the Biology final...I don't think I bombed it, but I doubt I did well enough to bring my B up to an A.

Oh well... ONE B out of all of my classes is acceptable....I guess. ;)

Tomorrow, Algebra and Anthropology. That leaves only my presentation for my Honors course on Wednesday, and I'm DONE WITH MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE!!!

This has been a truly amazing year.

I hate algebra, and algebra hates me...

. . . but we've learned to co-exist over the years.  We have an understanding -- It keeps it's distance and does it's own thing, and I do the same.  It's a beautiful relationship, really.  We know each other's lines, and we do not cross them.  

But then in saunters this thing called 'college,' messing up the natural balance of things. College, in it's infinite wisdom, seems to think I -- a psychology major --  need to be well versed in not only algebra, but calculus, as well.  Cuz, you know . . . knowing how to solve systems of equations is a vital skill when it comes to mastering play therapy with children.  

Algebra and I are currently in a full out battle to the death . . . ninja style.  

It silently turns my brain to mush, while I butcher it until it resembles something akin to a phone book that's been run through the shredder.  Twice.  

This could be interesting to watch.  Perhaps I should sell tickets.  

Never speak too soon...

So, yeah...that bliss didn't last very long before I was slung into a giant vat of stress and chaos and depression for about two weeks. But it's ok, folks! A great teacher and friend whipped out his trusty tongs and plucked me out, narrowly avoiding a fate of 'Corry Stew.' Others followed suit, drying me off and giving me a blankie and a lollipop and patting me on the head.

I really do take these analogies too far, don't I?

Another case of the good swooping in to balance out the bad...

The bad:

I have a three page paper on the short story "Desiree's Baby," by Kate Chopin, due tomorrow at eleven o'clock.  Normally, I would have had it done three or for days before it's due, but it just didn't quite work that way this time.  So on Sunday I set about trying to get most of it done once I got home from work.  Thaaat didn't work out so well.  It just wasn't coming to me.  

That's ok...I had all day Monday off from both school and work (yay for presidents!).  I would have to work really hard, but I could get it pretty much done in one day.  

So, at around two o'clock or so, I sat down to begin trying to set a thesis statement in stone to provide a basis for my essay.  I tried, and erased, tried, and erased, tried, and erased, rinse and repeat.  Nothing was working out.  

I finally gave up at five A.M.

No, that's not a typo.  

5...
A...
M...

That equates to ONE HOUR OF SLEEP!

The better:

I had an appointment already set up in the writing center at school with my English teacher/friend from last semester to go over my 'final' draft that I didn't have.  Since I didn't have that, the appointment then became a 'help Corry focus and find a thesis to start from' session.  

It worked, I now have a rough thesis, and a much clearer focus...I have a full night of work ahead of me, but I can do it now.  

THE BEST:   

On my way home from school, I stopped at the post office to pick up my mail.  In it was an envelope from school.  Hoping that the school decided to send out financial aid checks REALLY EARLY (they didn't), I opened it before I even got out of the post office lobby...though the envelope didn't contain the financial aid check, what WAS inside was just as good...better, in fact....

I mentioned a few weeks ago in this blog that I got accepted to the honors program...well, when I signed up, I also applied for the honors program half-time tuition waiver, and...(have you guessed what I'm about to say?)...


I GOT IT!!!  I GOT MY FIRST SCHOLARSHIP!!!

I'll try not to squish anyone while I'm perched upon my seat on top of the world.  :)

P.S.

Someone please make me stop suffocating myself.

On top of everything I mentioned before that I have going on... LOTS of classes, Honors Program (Oh yeah, I forgot to post, I WAS ACCEPTED!), Psych club (I hope), Trio Leadership program, the school newspaper, and work.... I also just volunteered to be a student ambassador at some sort of Hall of Fame ceremony here at the school Saturday.

WHY!? Why did I volunteer!? I HAVE TO SLEEP AT SOME POINT, DON'T I!?

Spreading myself thin? Nah!

You know that long list of activities and classes I said I was getting involved in in my last post?  

Hopefully soon I will be adding 'writing for the school newspaper' to it.

More to come....

School days....

School is in full swing now, and I'm burying myself in it the best I can.  In the past week, I've managed to somewhat successfully pull myself out the the pit I'd been in for the last month and a half.  This does't mean that the emotional pain I have been enduring since November 30th is gone, it simply means I have found a new way to cope with it, and am doing my best to become a stronger person because of it.  

I have 18 credit hours this semester, and I am also finishing up an incomplete I had to take due to missing so much class at the end of last semester...so it's more like I'm taking 22 hours.  

Friday I picked up an application for the Honors Program...if accepted, I will be in yet another class. I think I have a fair chance at getting in.  I am in the middle of putting the final touches on my application essay, and so far, I've gotten a very good response from everyone I've asked to look it over.  I will soon be writing more essays for scholarship applications, as well, so it's also good practice.  

And on top of all of that, I am joining the Psychology club and the Trio leadership program, as well.  

So, my therapy has been school, and so far it's working well.  

It also doesn't hurt that a good portion of my support system throughout all of this resides right there in that building.  As I was going through the beginning of this saga during the final weeks of last semester, I spent much of my time in the offices of my counselor and my English teacher.  Both were tremendously helpful in keeping me on track, while at the same time simply being there to talk.  

Even throughout the winter break, I was in touch regularly with my English teacher, updating him on Nicole, and releasing my frustrations and fears via the keyboard of my computer.  It is hard to describe exactly how much the small gesture of simply allowing me to write helped me to get through such a difficult time.  

Sometimes it almost feels wrong to feel happy about something good that was born as a result of something as horrible as Nicole's accident...but the truth is, good things have resulted.  I feel it has given me the opportunity to forge a new bond with the aforementioned teacher...he has become someone for me to look up to...a mentor.  

I am quite happy with where my life is going right now, and even happier that I have such tremendously good people to help me along the way.  

And hopefully I will still be able to find time in between the classes and the clubs and work and the occasional night's sleep to get my butt in gear when it comes to keeping this blog updated!  

Thanks for listening, folks...I appreciate it!  

The Bonfire

What makes a good teacher?

If you would have asked me that question 10 years ago, I'm not certain how I would have responded. Perhaps with something like "Someone who is nice and makes it easy for you to learn the stuff".

However, I spent 7 years away from academia...in that time, I've grown up a little, and changed, well...a lot. The dreams that I had created in the first 18 years of my life have been lying dormant, patiently awaiting the time when someone or something would light the spark that would finally give them a chance at life.

I went back to school this fall, finally. One of the most important things I have learned so far is that, a good teacher will not only create those sparks, but he will pile on the firewood and fan the flames until your dreams are a brilliant, roaring fire, capable of taking on a life of it's own.

Teachers of this caliber seem to be rare in this day and age. It is because of this that I consider myself to be genuinely blessed to have classes with not one, but TWO such teachers this semester.

They have both found those dormant dreams deep inside of me....they have both grabbed onto them and started pulling it out into the open. They have both been encouraging, highlighting the areas in which I am already skilled, but not ignoring those that need some attention before I can truly shine.

Growing up, I've always wanted to write. If I were to dig through my parent's attic, through the boxes upon boxes of notebooks and journals...alongside the thousands of drawings of horses, you'd find stories and poems galore, mostly unfinished. I loved to write, but I simply didn't have any sort of direction, or a solid foundation to build upon.

Now I'm an adult, and rarely have time to write for myself, as can be evidenced by this intermittently updated blog. Starting college, I was required to take an English Composition class. Though it focuses on analytical writing, I have an instructor that is great enough to have drawn out my potential for all to see. He has encouraged me, and given me the power to boost my self-confidence immensely. I now feel that, though I have a long way to go yet, I can not only write, but write WELL. I still need to hone my skills, and learn to be more consistent with my abilities, instead of relying on writing during times in which I feel "in the zone," but I will get there.

Another thing I've wanted to do since I was very young, is to get involved in music. I can remember being 7 or so, and receiving a small electronic keyboard for Christmas. Along with it, I got 3 or 4 keyboarding books with dozens of songs in them. I taught myself to play nearly every song in them, many of them by heart. I remember softly singing simple songs to myself as I played around on it, eventually learning by ear, to play those songs. How badly did I want to REALLY learn to play an instrument, but sadly, my parents could not afford an instrument, much less lessons. I was in percussion in the 4th grade, at school, but since I had no way of practicing at home, in 5th grade, the teacher told me I could not participate.

But that desire to infuse music into my soul has not gone away....it's merely been waiting in the shadows. It started to make it's way back out into the open when I befriended a clarinet-playing photographer whom I may have mentioned before in this blog. He set up the kindling, my Music Appreciation teacher lit the fire.

I look forward to his class every Tuesday and Thursday, more than any other class I have. For that hour and fifteen minutes, I become completely captivated by the passion he has for both music and teaching. I watch him perform -- and I say 'perform', because you couldn't possibly call something you love so much 'work' -- in front of the class, and think to myself, "That's what I want to be when I grow up." No, I don't want to be a music teacher....I want to be that passionate about what I do in life.

As he goes through each chapter of the book, he talks about so much more than just the music. The beginning of each chapter, there are 2 or 3 pages on the art and architecture of the era...he goes through it in detail, with incredible, detailed knowledge of each painting and sculpture shown...from the artist, to the subjects, to the artists intent. He talks about what life was like during that time period, and really gives you a much deeper understanding of both the music and art. He puts so much feeling and passion into it, that you can't help but start to feel a bit passionate about it, as well.

School has become an incredible part of my life, largely due to both of these outstanding teachers. I am only on my first semester of college, so I am hopeful that my remaining years in the world of academia are littered with many more heroes like those I discussed above.

I wish my high school teachers could see me now!

Just wanted to share this....it's my grade sheet that I got back today from my English Composition essay I turned in a week or so ago. :)

CLICK HERE

My current grade in that class is a 98.64%.

I think I'm ok with that.

RELIEF!!!!

Remember that concert review from a few days ago?

I got it back today, the only comments he made on the entire thing, was on the last page:

"Corry-
This is a terrific review. Exactly the kind of thing that I am looking for. 50/50"

Yep, I got a 100% on that baby! WOOT!!!!

Made my day. :)

Did I mention that he's the best teacher I've ever had?

He is.

The overacheiver disease

I may not be an overachiever in all aspects of my life, but when it comes to school, I am. Granted, I've been out of school for 7 years, and this is my first semester back, but that shouldn't make my 98% and higher that I'm getting in every class any less significant.

I'm doing so much better than I ever thought I COULD do in school, and I'm loving every sleep-deprived second of it. However, I've begun to notice a downfall to this fierce drive that I seem to have... A test or assignment with a grade less than an A seriously affects my immediate mood. Why can't a B be good enough for me?

Today, this overachiever disease reached new heights. I had a test in my psychology class...I've gotten good grades in there so far, and have twice gotten the high score of the class on my tests. But I've gotten it in my head that the high score isn't good enough...that I need to get a perfect score.

I wizzed through the multiple choice questions, fairly confident with my selections...pounded out the essay questions, having no doubts at all on those...then moved on to the extra-credit. The extra credit was a large chart of the 8 senses, the organs, receptors, types of energy, and what lobes of the brain were related to those senses...the entire chart was blank, and we had to fill in every last cell, each worth a 1/2 point...but if you didn't get the scientific term for the sense correct, you didn't get any of the points for that sense.

FORTY cells to fill in on this chart...not an easy task...but I had this puppy in the bag. I zipped right through vision, had no problems with audition, in no time got through olfaction, cutaneous sense, vestibular sense, gustation, an kinesthesia. I had every cell filled out for prop...propec....propio....WHAT THE HELL IS THAT WORD!?

I sat there for 10 minutes...everything done but that one cell. I was the last student left in the class. I finally gave up. No chance of getting that perfect.

Proprioception.

I was in a pissed off mood for two hours. Because of an extra credit question.

Folks, I think I have a problem.

The true college experience.

I believe I've now had the true college experience.

3+ weeks of sleep deprivation due to multiple essays and tests piled one on top of the other.

Yep, it's official. I'm in college.

One Small Step....

Ok, so one small step hardly describes it. Today I had my appointment with the financial aid advisor at IVCC. Not only did he ease my fears, but he also made me downright confident about the future of my education. I was so worried about how I was going to make this happen....but I'm not now. How doesn't matter. What matters is...I AM going to make this happen.

After my appointment with the financial aid advisor, I took care of some other things. I got an appointment to take my placement tests. I have to test in reading, writing, and math. Reading and writing are gonna be a breeze. Math? Not so much. I have two weeks to brush up!

Before leaving the college, I also made an appointment with a guidance councelor.

I'm going all the way this time. I'm going to college. I'm going to get an education. Then I'm going to get a good job, and not struggle to make ends meet.

One giant leap for happily ever after.

Getting my start in life...

In two days I have an appointment with a financial aid adviser at the college.

I'm determined this time. One way or another, I'm going to start college. Come hell or high water, this fall, I will be starting a transfer program at IVCC. My major? Psychology.

I've wanted to go into that since I was probably 14 year old...I gave up that dream long ago, because I thought it was more schooling than I could do.

But my outlook on a lot of things has changed in the last year or so, thanks to the amazing friends that I've mentioned time and again in this blog. It took almost 25 years, but I finally know that I can do anything I want to do. And I want to go to college and study Psychology.