Happy

I am tired, rarely getting enough sleep, always over-worked with very little time to rest and relax.

But I am happy.

I am broke. I'm behind in a few of my bills, and often have to scramble to find gas money to get to school.

But I am happy.

I am sick. I don't have the time or the money to get the proper nourishment on top of the aforementioned lack of sleep, and my body is punishing me for it.

But I am happy.

I have a severe lack of a social life. I don't have time for the friends that live near me, and my closest friends live so very far away that I rarely see them. I certainly don't have time for a relationship.

But I am happy.

I have focused my life on school . . . expanding my knowledge, drawing out of me talents I didn't know I had, and learning to better understand myself and those around me.

And I am happy.

When life gives you lemons . . .

 . . . you open a lemonade stand, right?  

I think that old saying is a good description of my life . . . or at least it's a good description of what I'm trying to do with my life.  

My childhood wasn't exactly what you would call . . . pleasant.  I'll be the first to admit that it could have been much worse, but it could have been a hell of a lot better, too.  Because of my upbringing, I have suffered for years with low self confidence, poor body image, lack of some basic life skills, and more.  I either missed out on many of the things that a parent is supposed to teach thier child, or was taught the wrong way.  

I was lucky enough to have some good influences along the way, and that was enough to keep me from totally going down the wrong path, as many in my situation do.  In the last couple of years I have finally learned to start taking control of my life, and I'm slowly dropping all of the weights that have been tied to me and keeping me down for 26 years.  I'm taking those life experiences . . . those painful memories . . . those lost years . . . and I'm using them to my benefit.  I'm using them to launch a career.  I'm using them to motivate me . . . they remind me that if I don't do something about it, I'm destined to be stuck in that same rut that my parents dug for me for the rest of my life.  

I guess sometimes I need reminders . . . 'booster shots,' if you will.  Tonight was one such night.  I spent a couple of hours at my parent's house for a cookout, and was quickly reminded of everything I never want to be.  

I came home, a little sad, and a whole lotta angry . . . but quickly got over it.  I sat at my computer desk where my new text books for the fall semester are sitting, and I was reminded of the great decision I had made to go back to school, and how my hard work would pay off.  

Still angry, I emailed my best friend, Joe, to vent a little, and I was reminded that I have amazing people in my life, including a best friend who believes in me, and will always be there to hold me up, if I ever need it again.  

In the email, I made a comment about not being able to wait until I can move to Chicago . . . and I was reminded that I am creating a future for myself that includes achieving fantastic dreams . . . like moving to Chicago for school.  

I am not destined to a life of alcohol, pain, and dead-ends.  I will not allow anyone to attach weights to me, and ruin my determination to soar above it all.  

I may have had a crappy childhood, and I may have less than stellar parents . . . but my life isnt' so bad.  In fact, I'm pretty damn blessed.  

Life is Cuh-RAZY!

I haven't really had time to post anything lately. It's been a very busy summer. So, a very (VERY) quick summary:

Still working like a mad-woman, while going to school at the same time.

Nicole came home from the hospital, 7 months after her accident, on July 3rd. It's so amazing to have her home. :)

BOTH of Natalie's baby showers are done and overwith (not sure I talked about that here, just in case she ever came over here to read). 6 weeks until Baby Cayden is due. I can't wait. :)

Natalie, Josh, and I are going to see Wicked in Chicago this weekend . . . it's her early birthday gift from me. I'm looking forward to being in the city again more than actually seeing Wicked (not that I don't want to see it . . . I just REALLY miss the city!)

Oh, and some really good news from today . . .

. . . are you ready?

I GOT ANOTHER SCHOLARSHIP!!!! $1000 for the upcoming school year. :) I'm tickled pink. :)

That's all for now. I'll update more when I have a chance. (and it may be a while)

Bliss

I do believe I am currently the happiest person on Earth.



....that is all.


Over and out!

School, Baltimore, Quart-sized Long Island Iced Tea, and more!

I think it's probably pretty easy to see what get's neglected first when things get busy.  This poor blog gets forgotten about so quickly!  

What's been keeping me away?  Well, the things in the subject title, for one!  

The past several weeks have been a contest to see how little sleep I can get by with, without inadvertantly killing myself.  So far it's Sleepless Me-1, Death-0.  Yay me!  

At school it's seeming like as soon as one huge paper or assignment is out of the way, another one gets in line.  Before long, I really do think I'll be able to write these things in my sleep.  It doesn't help that I tend to procrastinate and put them off until the last minute.  

It also doesn't help that I've met a new guy, and we seem to be inclined to talk online until 2am everynight, and I ignore and put off homework even further.  (Don't worry, it's still getting done!  I'm sacrificing sleep, not homework!)

....but as stressful as that all sounds....I've been feeling more at peace than ever.  

Things have just been going well.  Even when they aren't.  I doubt that makes sense, but you'll just have to take it for what it is! :P

3 weeks after he asked me out, I finally got my first date with Chris this past Friday.  As I've said, we've already been talking for hours and hours online the past few weeks. so we've gotten to know each other a bit.  I was kinda glad that we planned it so far in advance (we're busy people!), because it allowed the anticipation to grow.  

The actual date went very well. :) A nice dinner at Logan's Roadhouse, ice cream at Coldstone Creamery, drinks at Mulligan's, home of the quart sized Long Island knock-me-on-my-ass Iced tea (it was tasty), and then off to see a movie.  We saw "Semi-pro"...it was HILARIOUS.  Coulda been the alcohol (don't worry, I was the only one that was knocked on my ass!  He was a good designated driver), of course. :P

We talked and laughed and had a great time.  He was a perfect gentleman, opening my car door and everything.  

Date #2 is forthcoming. ;) I will be cooking him a belated birthday dinner, since I'm missing his birthday by being in Baltimore for spring break (hey! I didn't know it was his birthday when I made the plans!)

....whiiiich brings us to now.  I arrived in Baltimore yesterday afternoon, and I'll be here until Monday.  I haven't seen Joe in SIX MONTHS!!!!  Longest we've ever gone in the time we've been friends without seeing each other. It feels SO great to be in a city again, and it's awesome to get to spend time with my best friend again.  I've missed him. :)

So....life is busy, but good.  :)

REACH!

So uh....yeah...yesterday was a great day in many many ways, scarred by just ONE BIG BAD THING. My %#@*ING CAR!!! It's in the shop. Again. I had to miss school because of it. Unfortunately, the mechancic can't get to it until at least 3pm today (I called at 9am). I am praying it's not too terribly expensive or difficult to fix. I'm still paying off the repairs from last September!

I find it interesting how my life right now is so full of things that are out of this world amazing, and at the same time I'm weighed down by so many significantly negative things. It's like God, or fate, or destiny, or whatever it is that is that is in control of my life, just KNOWS that the bad things that are going on are so great that I wouldn't be able to survive them without the good things to balance it out.

*sigh* Enough of me complaining. THIS will get you laughing! My buddy Sky shared this with me the other night. The talented folks at Prangstgrup created this incredibly entertaining prank called Lecture Musical! I couldn't stop laughing when I watched it! Something like this needs to happen during my Biology lecture! :P

Without further ado:



The version on Prangstgrup's website is higher quality, but I didn't see a way to embed it. ;)

Hope you enjoyed it!

EDIT: Seems the video I had on here stopped working, so, trying it again! :D